*Things that are dangerous…*

Living in Armenia, a country where the vodka flows like water, I have actually consumed less alcohol than any other time in my life.  There are forces that are greater than myself that prevent my copious consumptions of alcohol-these ‘forces’ look like an old toothless lady who will shame me and a young man in a leather-ish jacket who will try and be my “boyfriend”. It is incredibly looked down upon for a women to be buying and drinking alcohol-shame, shame, know your name!
Maggie, another volunteer, and I went to the beautiful city of Areni; home of peacecorps volunteers, beautiful apricot trees, and delicious homemade wine. Away from the glaring shame that is brought about through purchasing alcohol I bought some homemade booze-best decision I ever made. Here I am with the temptation to pump up the jams, put on my headphones, have a dance party, and pour another glass-occasionally, this little red heaven is dangerous.

I then thought about other things that are dangerous…

1. razors with no aloe strip
When I think about the challenges of the peacecorps I think this is the one that is most apparent-it comes in the forms of little bleeding bumps of irritation. yuck

2. really yummy alcohol
Omg, be still my heart.

3. all you can eat and depression
I just think about sitting at my host families house, awkwardly, and them shoving white bread and crap towards me and saying, EAT! So, it isn’t the ‘all you can eat’ deal at sizzlers but I imagine just as good and bad…all at the same time.

4. TV on DVD
I have a limit of how much TV shows I am able to watch. I remember my gf and I had Grey’s Anatomy on DVD and I woke up to her asleep on the couch with snacks surrounding her and her informing me she watched the whole thing in one sitting, or rather lying. All that entertainment-one little disc.

5. being a male in a society where women are oppressed
It seems like being a male in Armenia is like being in heaven; beautiful women bring you everything you need, you get the front seat, you get served first, you don’t wash your dishes or your clothes, and you get the best cut of meat and your coffee with a simple word or look. equality blah.blah.blah.

6. unlimited internet
I love you internet. Thank you for providing me with french cinema (that takes days to download), hot new songs by holy ghost, you tube videos, and facebook. Dangerous.

7. making eye contact with men in Armenia
I think that means you are vowing to be their wife, mistress, or you are a floozy.

8. putting on your make-up after a few of those yummy alcohol drinks
Uh, here is the look I am going for cute, friendly, approachable. Here is the look I get, transsexual.

9. answering the unknown phone number calling you
I have about three phone numbers in my phone…so this means I rarely answer my phone. Who knows what that number wants- in my head I think they want my social security number and soul.

10. friends with stocked fridges and cupboards
I steal. Dangerous for you-not me.

11.home appliance  aisles
I really like housewares. I think about all the smoothies, juices, pestos, cookies, cakes, espressos and ice-cream I could be making. Then I think about my simple stir fry, yogurt, salad life and it feels so gray in a world of silver.

12. self help podcasts
So, do you want to talk about limiting beliefs, being the best person you can be and EFT? COOL! I know so much. Really. No one wants to hear that stuff, guaranteed.

13. finding your way in the dark
It’s hard to see.

14. coffee made from powder
It is delicious and I am pretty sure made from all synthetic chemicals that make me want more and more and more.

15. talking to homeless
I talk to crazies too often. They tell me all sorts of things and I can’t stop talking and smiling at them.

16. dark bars and strong drinks
swoon

17. craft blogs
Craft blogs are black holes for me. I get sucked in to their beautiful world. I could look at craft blogs for days and days only pulling myself away long enough to make some powdered coffee.

18. living in a society that loves glitter
Armenia loves it. I wore brown glittery eyeshadow with pink glitter on my lips and blush that had glitter in it. Does that sound like trash? One man’s trash is another man’s Armenia!

19. eating fish in a land locked country
I wonder about these things. I am not worried enough not to eat fish but I still think about it- not for very long though.

20. spy’s
I am pretty sure that people love peeping at my hula hooping, dancing, and general exciting life from their apartment windows. I see these old ladies who just sit, watch and talk-they are everywhere!

Whale from:

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3 thoughts on “*Things that are dangerous…*

  1. Welcome to being a part of my RSS feed.

    Throwing around the idea of a Fantan reunion at my new place in Vanadzor. Should I take note that if my cupboard are stocked with tasty liquor there will be danger?

    Also, have you ever wondered why so many women are studying advanced degrees and creating businesses in Armenia currently? Looks like inequality is taking its toll on the dominate gender. The great pendulum begins.

  2. dude. if you think the grey’s anatomy shit is bad, you won’t believe how crazy I STILL am for Law & Order: SVU. I have no self-control. NONE!

    • Ha! It isn’t bad if the network gods pace it out-week by week but on DVD where you can just sit there for hours-how can someone not resist. I think your “things that are dangerous” list would have to include law & order, ebay, kale 😉 and shopping while hungover- Look out shoe stores!

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